Mark Hoppus Quotes:
"We want people to take care of their butts, because we have to make sure they're clean."

"There is nothing more awkward and more laughable than a naked dude with his dick flopping."

"Hey, you better wipe that shit eating grin off your face cause this next song's a sad one... and uhh... more importantly than that, if you're eating shit and grinning, then today's probably not your day anyway...so whatever."

"Lets hear it for blow jobs everyone."

"We are not a stars. We are all just dorks in a band"

"I do not have a girlfriend, I have a dog."

"We play poopy poppy punk like stuff."

"Look at me... look at me... I need the attention, oooh I'm punk rock I got some tattoos, I got some piercings. If I'm gonna get some piercings then I want everyone to see it...I don't need to advertise my punkness. A real punk doesn't need to show off...It's like a Karate man... the Karate man bleeds on the inside. A real punk is punk on the inside."

"They always want to see how big our penises are."

"Tom works out everyday dude."

Tom Delonge Quotes:
When asked about getting spit on at concerts, Tom replied, "Usually I'm too drunk to really care about it. Sometimes I'll look at my shirt and see a bunch of loogies and get all grossed out, but it's all in the name of fun."

"I was an outcast because, apparently, three testicles is not the "in" thing to have."

For me, sex with a girl is a race to orgasm, and I am undefeated."

I came up with a little formula. If you write songs about girls, you get girls at shows. We write a lot of songs about girls."

"I used to walk around the house naked saying 'I think I look great', and my mom would say, 'No, you really don't, put your clothes back on'."

"I like a good dessert. I like fudge on a brownie with vanilla ice cream smeared all over my nuts. My nuts taste better with fudge."

"Your mom's a whore."

"I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, and neither has my penis."

"Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable."

"Some people think we're idiots and perverts... which we are."

"We don't want to act like adults. Anybody who can stay in a state of adolescence will be much better off later on. Look at people who are working nine-to-five jobs out of college, and look at professional skateboarders or guys in punk bands. See who's having more fun."

"Our take on punk is really just fun; it's fun to offend people and do what we want to. But it isn't that offensive. We make music for ourselves and everybody else who gets it. It's a lifestyle scene. If you don't get it you don't have to listen."

"I don't know why I am in this band. I am the only guy that likes girls. I am the only one that believes that guys and girls should be together and that babies should be made the penis vagina way. The old way. These guys are trying to create some weird wacky, maybe the penis in the butt will get a kid, I don't know. I don't think that works."

Mark: "What?"
Tom: "No, don't come here and try to act like your heterosexual!"

"And as for signing to a bigger label... well I'd like to make a lot of money and fuck credibility. If I did, it doesn't make me any different. Just richer."

"I've masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours... it hurts... it's going to fall off."

"This is a scene and the bands that have been in it a long time deserve the breaks, doesn't mean they've changed. We haven't. We're still writing songs about girls."

Travis Barker Quotes:
"Bombshell, for the ladies..."

"What, are you sayin you never dyed your hair? Mr. Purple hair like two months ago? And Oh oh, I wanna get a big sailor ship all the way from my wrist to my, to my tittie..."

"Is this your beer?"